Yusei-chan meets the cast of Utena
by Yusei Hoshi
Summary: Yusei-chan, TAGSS, and the Suzaku Seishi accidently hit the "Anime Time Travel" button and are warped to Ohtori Academy and they have to get back to their own world by defeating all of the Student Council in rose duels. Will they be able to get back home
1. Molsons

Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kakumei Utena, the characters from Fushigi Yuugi or Molson beer, but I am selling my friends to depressed overweight men over 50 years old for $2000, cause I need the cash. Naw, just kidding about the last part. Teehee ^_^  
  
  
  
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"  
  
"But you hafta!"  
  
"NEVER!!! THE ALCOHOL IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE!"  
  
"What about Miaka, hm?"  
  
"....Alcohol makes ugly people look pretty. I was plastered when I met her."  
  
"Oh Suzaku.Just give me the alcohol, Tamahome."  
  
It all began when Rizu(chan was trying to get Tamahome to give up his booze. Everyone was chilling in Yusei(chan's basement. Y'know the crew, right? Jess, Jamie, Rizu, Yusei and the Suzaku Seven. Tamahome had found some Molsons hidden in the bar area that Yusei(chan's aunt had stashed there for last year's New Year's Eve party, and since he's a raging alcoholic, (if you've seen Fushigi Yuugi and heard his voice, you know what I mean.) he has the need to get drunk every ten minutes.  
  
"Just let him have the beer, Rizu(chan. I've got my recorder with me, so I can record him singing drunk again. Teehee!" Yusei(chan said, holding up the recorder.  
  
"But you already have 25 tapes of him drinking Captain Morgan, do you really need more?" Jamie(chan asked.  
  
"But maybe he'll do the 'Dance of the drowning penguin' again, no da! I have to say, that's entertainment for a lifetime, no da!" Chichiri added.  
  
"I did the what?"  
  
"Oh Suzaku..Don't show him it, Yusei(chan." Nuriko set his head down on the table.  
  
"Give me those Molsons, Tamahome!" Rizu(chan grabbed at the stash of beer in Tamahome's arms.  
  
"NO!"  
  
While Rizu was attempting to grab the beer that Tamahome was guzzling down, Hotohori raised his hand in the air and the scene stopped. He turned and looks straight forward.  
  
"I'm laughing at Tamahome, because Tamahome is drinking Molson. Sure, he took Miaka away from me and tried to crush my empire by killing me as well, but when I see Tamahome drinking Molson, I see a source of entertainment that I haven't seen since Miaka thought I was a woman. Even if I did catch him and Miaka making out in my bedroom, I'm laughing at Tamahome, because Tamahome is drinking Molson."  
  
Words appear on the screen.."Wacky, fictional portrayal of Molson Beer will not make you the ally of a great emperor of Konan, friend." Hotohori lowers his hand and the scene plays again.  
  
"If those two don't stop, they'll bump the "Anime Time Travel" switch." Chiriko commented.  
  
"Hm." Mitsukake replied.  
  
"That's right! I forgot!" Yusei(chan recalled.  
  
"RIZU! TAMAHOME! DON'T GO TOO CLOSE TO THAT."  
  
The lights began to flicker on and off.  
  
"Damn.."  
  
"EVERYONE STAY CALM!!!!" Tasuki ordered.  
  
The lights go out. A bright green light fills the room  
  
"Oh Rizuuu-chan, I'm taking the beer!"  
  
"Over my dead body, Tamahome!"  
  
"What will it be this time, no da?"  
  
"HOSHI(NEKO!!" Yusei called out, grabbing her backpack.  
  
The little winged kitten flew over.  
  
"Mew?"  
  
"Hoshi, you are immune to time travel, right? Get the laptop and start figuring out where we will be headed. You know what to do after that. Hurry!"  
  
"Mew!"  
  
The little kitten flew off to go find the laptop and save the day. In a matter of minutes, everyone had vanished into the reach of time travel. Where they would be headed, was as unknown as Mitsukake's vocabulary.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED..... 


	2. On the Rose Platform (from the Utena mov...

::NOTE: the segment of intoxication and pulling out different objects is not my idea. It is a parody of another fanfic I have read before. The credit goes to Becka and Karen. Enjoy!::  
  
  
  
While the little winged Hoshi kitten used fanfiction(enabled magic to try to break the code on the Anime Time Travel switch, the crew was falling into the darkness of anime space and time. The Suzaku Seven and Yusei(chan's friends finally were sucked into a pink, rose(shaped spiral hole. The gang had long ago lost consciousness, but when they soon regained it, they all found themselves on a very large platform covered with red roses, with someone's shadow in the distance..  
  
"($*#)^%)*@!! I think I just broke a @#(&^$^@$ing hip!" Tasuki wailed.  
  
"Where are we?" Chiriko asked.  
  
"Hm."  
  
"Whooohoo, man..::hiccup::" Tamahome drunkenly exclaimed.  
  
"Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!" Rizu was regretting letting go of those Molsons during the transition through time.  
  
"What's with all the roses, no da?"  
  
"Dunno, I think this is a bad idea. Let's go see if we can identify which anime this is before we go asking questions like that." Jess(chan replied.  
  
The gang began walking off, all except for Yusei(chan, who was video(taping all of the pretty red roses. She turned around and saw a white rose, sticking out of all the red roses. Yusei thought it very strange, and stopped filming and put the video camera in her backpack. She took out a regular camera and walked over to the rose. Just as she was about to click a good shot, the white rose began to move. Yusei lowered her camera and watched as the rose twisted and turned. She saw a glint of light from inside the rose. The rose opened up and there was a beautiful ring with a rose on it inside. Yusei picked up the ring and examined it until she finally called the others to tell them about the treasure she had found.  
  
"HEY!!! LOOK AT THIS COOL NOSE RING I FOUND EVERYBODY!"  
  
Just then, a figure hidden in shadows rustled on a dark corner of the rose(covered platform. Hotohori drew his sword.  
  
"Who is over there? Speak to the pleasurable Emperor of Konan!"  
  
Tasuki tried to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Your Majesty, I have to say that that line was by far the most farfetched thing I have ever heard, coming from you." Nuriko announced.  
  
"I only speak the truth, Nuriko..anyway..Who are you!" Hotohori called out.  
  
The figure moved into out of the shadows and into the light. It was a woman, with dark skin, long purple hair, and wearing a green and white seifuku. It was Anthy Himemiya.  
  
"My name is Anthy Himemiya. I am the headmaster's sister. What are you doing in my rose garden? Students are not allowed to come to this part of the academy."  
  
"Academy, no da? What is the name of this aca.."  
  
Rizu(chan covered his mouth before he could say more. She called a group huddle which everyone participated except for Yusei(chan, who was prancing around with the Rose Signet in her nose like a bull's ring. She was jumping around the platform yelling "I've got a rose, in my nose!" over and over again.  
  
"We can't look suspicious, guys." Rizu(chan whispered.  
  
"Well, how are we NOT gonna look suspicious?! Yusei(chan is dancing around like a nut, we aren't wearing the school uniforms, we trespassed on territory that was not allowed to be trespassed on, the seishi are all wearing clothes from ancient China, and we all don't know where the hell we are!" Jamie whispered loudly.  
  
Yusei(chan grabbed Anthy and pointed to her nose, laughing like a maniac.  
  
"I'VE GOT A ROSE, IN MY NOSE!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"  
  
Anthy drew back from Yusei, who was still holding on to her arm, laughing and saying, "I've got a rose in my nose!"  
  
"You! What are you doing with the Rose Bride.." Saionji yelled at Yusei.  
  
Everyone snapped out of the huddle and turned to Saionji.  
  
"The Rose..Bride?" Chiriko asked.  
  
"I think I know which anime this is.." Jess(chan whispered.  
  
Yusei grew quiet and walked solemnly walked up to Saionji. They stared at each other for a few minutes, and then Yusei(chan opened her mouth to speak.  
  
"...I'VE GOT A ROSE IN MY NOSE! WAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Saionji smiled evilly.  
  
"I see you are a duelist."  
  
"Duelist.duelist..duelist! I've got it! I know which anime this is!" Jamie exclaimed.  
  
"Which is it, no da?" Chichiri asked.  
  
"Revolutionary Girl Utena, except..."  
  
"What, no da?"  
  
"Yusei(chan was chosen to be a duelist.and."  
  
"Yes, no da?"  
  
".We're in a lot of trouble."  
  
"Oh great, no da..."  
  
"Duelist?" Yusei blinked at Saionji.  
  
"ANTHY! PREPARE US FOR THE DUEL!" Saionji called out  
  
Anthy bent down to pick two roses from her garden. She pinned a green one on Saionji's chest and a darker green one with glitter on Yusei's chest.  
  
"The one who loses the rose loses the duel...do you..have a sword?"  
  
"Hell no! I'm not a guy, you pervert!"  
  
This was responded by the whole group sweatdropping and a few falling over. Anthy just shrugged and walked over to Saionji with a very confuzzled face.  
  
"One is not allowed to duel without a sword. Anthy! Bring forth the Sword of Dios!"  
  
Anthy obeyed her fiancée's order and summoned the power of Dios.  
  
"O Rose of the Noble Castle. Power of Dios that sleeps within me, heed your master and come forth!"  
  
Saionji pulled the sword out of Anthy. Yusei stared for quite some time and then she spoke.  
  
"HEY! I CAN DO THAT, TOO!!!! TEEHEE!!!!"  
  
Chichiri sweatdropped and put a hand on the very confident Yusei's shoulder.  
  
"Ano...Yusei(chan..I don't think that is possible, no da! We've ran out of fanfiction(enabled magic, and..."  
  
Yusei grabbed Chichiri and draped him over her arm.  
  
"I brought my own private stash of fanfiction(enabled magic in my backpack, teehee!"  
  
"Oh Suzaku, no da.."  
  
Yusei cleared her throat.  
  
"O Rose of the Noble Castle, Power of Dios that sleeps within him, heed your master and come forth!"  
  
A brilliant flash of light filled the platform of roses. The poor monk struggled and writhed, but Yusei and a tight firm grip on him, even as she pulled a great sword out of him he was going into shock. When she finally pulled the Sword of Suzaku out of Chichiri, she let go of him and he fell to the floor taking big gasps of air in through his lungs.  
  
"Heyyyy man, I can do that, too..." A very intoxicated Tamahome replied.  
  
"Go fer it,Tama-..hic..baby.." Liz stumbled behind him  
  
"What's wrong with Rizu(chan?"Nuriko asked Chiriko.  
  
"I think she found a strong Italian wine in Yusei's backpack."  
  
"Hm."  
  
Rizu grabbed Tamahome like so with Yusei and Chichiri. Tamahome started the incantation.  
  
"Ya wanna see a trick? O rose of the noble castle, power of Dios that sleeps within me, Godspeed, Thigh Master, and come in fours."  
  
A brilliant, blinding flash of light filled the platform, it a few seconds, it vanished as Rizu pulled out four oddly bent and highly unfamiliar metal contraptions.  
  
"What...are.those?" Hotohori looked puzzled.  
  
Rizu giggled uncontrollably.  
  
"Thigh Masters ::giggle Thigh Masters ::giggle:: Thigh Masters! ::giggle::"  
  
Tamahome threw the Thigh Masters off the platform. Rizu and him chugged more of the Italian wine to increase their chances of getting it right. (Did that make sense? LOL!)  
  
Tamahome hiccupped and cleared his throat, hoping to get it right this time, more intoxicated than before.  
  
"Anybuddy wanna see anotha trick? O glucose of the global tassel, mower of Dios that housekeeps within me, cheerlead thy ringmaster and boing forth!"  
  
Once again, the platform filled with light as Rizu pulled at a metal object. With a "boing!" Jerry Springer landed on the platform, on a pogo stick. Everybody blinked as Jess(chan tripped Jerry Springer on the pogo stick and he fell off the platform to a bloody death. All laughed and Rizu and Tamahome drank more wine.  
  
"Betta git thish right...inybuddy wanna schee anotha trick? O underclothes of the mobile asshole, from the tower of power that kneads inbreeds, nosebleed that bastard and come, whores!"  
  
Rizu finally grasped a sword, but she frowned to see the sword was tied to Mitsukake's pajamas and Miaka's underwear. Mitsukake buried his face in his hands, finding that he had been caught. All around the platform, various undergarments from everyone in the cast of Fushigi Yuugi began to fall from the sky. Yusei, Rizu, Jamie, and Jess drooled happily while the boys all just stared and turned red. This time, all the seishi, Rizu, AND Tamahome took a chug from the never ending bottle of wine.  
  
"Shthee a thrick? O nose of Obi Wan Kenobi, power of schmuck that breeds within me, breastfeed your whoremaster and come in force!"  
  
Rizu pulled something out of Tamahome's chest that was unidentifiable, when she looked closer, it was a Star Wars lightsaber, which was attached to Darth Vader, which was attached to several scantily clad women. The seishi cheered and whooped as the women danced around the platform. Tamahome sat down and cried because he was too intoxicated to produce a sword from his chest. Yusei drew her sword, ready to fight Saionji, but found him and Anthy were missing. She shrugged and decided that they should try to either contact Hoshi and try to get out of there, or stay and chat a while with the people of the academy. What should the group do?  
  
  
  
  
  
::Should the group stay for a while or go? If you have read this story, answer what you think should happen in a review. The choice is up to you if they stay or if they go!:: 


End file.
